Friday, September 26, 2008

Online Photoshop lessons

If you are teaching yourself Photoshop (like me), you’ll just love this YouTube clip!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Panini tuna or tuna Panini?

I stopped by a cafĂ© outside the entrance to Isetan in the Gardens at Mid Valley today for lunch. The waitress gave me a menu and after studying it for a few minutes I decided on the tuna Panini sandwich which was listed on the menu as ‘Panini tuna’.

“I’ll have the tuna Panini please,” I said to the waitress.

“No have, lah,” she replied. “Only got Panini tuna.”

I pondered for a moment. Should I try to explain to her that a tuna Panini is the same as a Panini tuna, or would she think I was trying to be funny and pop an extra hot chilli in my sandwich to pay me back for giving her trouble.

She was looking at me, patiently waiting for my order. She was probably thinking: “Why is this stupid kwai lo ordering something that is not on the menu.”

I decided to play it safe.

“Um, no tuna Panini, huh?” I said. “Well, (long pause, with eyes scanning the menu), in that case I think I will have the Panini tuna instead.

“Okay, lah,” she replied.

Only Malaysians will understand.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

God help America

I was browsing the Internet this evening and came across an excellent article titled ‘When Atheists Attack’ by Sam Harris of Newsweek

It’s about the US Vice-Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin. A few days after her candidacy was announced and reading about her background in the international press, it occurred to me that given McCain’s age and health problems, it would not be beyond the realms of possibility that if elected, he could kick the bucket whilst in office. And then self-proclaimed hockey mum Mrs Palin – who has only been overseas once and who believes that the Iraq war is “God’s will” - would be holding the most powerful job on earth.

God help America and the rest of the world I thought.

Sam Harris’ article completely encapsulates all of my own thoughts about Mrs Palin’s candidacy, but I can’t write as well as he does, so instead I will endeavour to share his views with as many other people as possible by publishing the link to his article below:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/160080/page/1

and also reproducing his article in full - just in case the link is not working and an American voter happens to pass by this blog. If I can save one American voter from voting for the McCain/Palin ticket, I will feel that I have made a small contribution towards saving the world.

This is his article:

When Atheists Attack

Let me confess that I was genuinely unnerved by Sarah Palin's performance at the Republican convention. Given her audience and the needs of the moment, I believe Governor Palin's speech was the most effective political communication I have ever witnessed. Here, finally, was a performer who—being maternal, wounded, righteous and sexy—could stride past the frontal cortex of every American and plant a three-inch heel directly on that limbic circuit that ceaselessly intones "God and country." If anyone could make Christian theocracy smell like apple pie, Sarah Palin could.

Then came Palin's first television interview with Charles Gibson. I was relieved to discover, as many were, that Palin's luster can be much diminished by the absence of a teleprompter. Still, the problem she poses to our political process is now much bigger than she is. Her fans seem inclined to forgive her any indiscretion short of cannibalism. However badly she may stumble during the remaining weeks of this campaign, her supporters will focus their outrage upon the journalist who caused her to break stride, upon the camera operator who happened to capture her fall, upon the television network that broadcast the good lady's misfortune—and, above all, upon the "liberal elites" with their highfalutin assumption that, in the 21st century, only a reasonably well-educated person should be given command of our nuclear arsenal.

The point to be lamented is not that Sarah Palin comes from outside Washington, or that she has glimpsed so little of the earth's surface (she didn't have a passport until last year), or that she's never met a foreign head of state. The point is that she comes to us, seeking the second most important job in the world, without any intellectual training relevant to the challenges and responsibilities that await her. There is nothing to suggest that she even sees a role for careful analysis or a deep understanding of world events when it comes to deciding the fate of a nation. In her interview with Gibson, Palin managed to turn a joke about seeing Russia from her window into a straight-faced claim that Alaska's geographical proximity to Russia gave her some essential foreign-policy experience. Palin may be a perfectly wonderful person, a loving mother and a great American success story—but she is a beauty queen/sports reporter who stumbled into small-town politics, and who is now on the verge of stumbling into, or upon, world history.

The problem, as far as our political process is concerned, is that half the electorate revels in Palin's lack of intellectual qualifications. When it comes to politics, there is a mad love of mediocrity in this country. "They think they're better than you!" is the refrain that (highly competent and cynical) Republican strategists have set loose among the crowd, and the crowd has grown drunk on it once again. "Sarah Palin is an ordinary person!" Yes, all too ordinary.

We have all now witnessed apparently sentient human beings, once provoked by a reporter's microphone, saying things like, "I'm voting for Sarah because she's a mom. She knows what it's like to be a mom." Such sentiments suggest an uncanny (and, one fears, especially American) detachment from the real problems of today. The next administration must immediately confront issues like nuclear proliferation, ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (and covert wars elsewhere), global climate change, a convulsing economy, Russian belligerence, the rise of China, emerging epidemics, Islamism on a hundred fronts, a defunct United Nations, the deterioration of American schools, failures of energy, infrastructure and Internet security … the list is long, and Sarah Palin does not seem competent even to rank these items in order of importance, much less address any one of them.

Palin's most conspicuous gaffe in her interview with Gibson has been widely discussed. The truth is, I didn't much care that she did not know the meaning of the phrase "Bush doctrine." And I am quite sure that her supporters didn't care, either. Most people view such an ambush as a journalistic gimmick. What I do care about are all the other things Palin is guaranteed not to know—or will be glossing only under the frenzied tutelage of John McCain's advisers. What doesn't she know about financial markets, Islam, the history of the Middle East, the cold war, modern weapons systems, medical research, environmental science or emerging technology? Her relative ignorance is guaranteed on these fronts and most others, not because she was put on the spot, or got nervous, or just happened to miss the newspaper on any given morning. Sarah Palin's ignorance is guaranteed because of how she has spent the past 44 years on earth.

I care even more about the many things Palin thinks she knows but doesn't: like her conviction that the Biblical God consciously directs world events. Needless to say, she shares this belief with mil-lions of Americans—but we shouldn't be eager to give these people our nuclear codes, either. There is no question that if President McCain chokes on a spare rib and Palin becomes the first woman president, she and her supporters will believe that God, in all his majesty and wisdom, has brought it to pass. Why would God give Sarah Palin a job she isn't ready for? He wouldn't. Everything happens for a reason. Palin seems perfectly willing to stake the welfare of our country—even the welfare of our species—as collateral in her own personal journey of faith. Of course, McCain has made the same unconscionable wager on his personal journey to the White House.

In speaking before her church about her son going to war in Iraq, Palin urged the congregation to pray "that our national leaders are sending them out on a task that is from God; that's what we have to make sure we are praying for, that there is a plan, and that plan is God's plan." When asked about these remarks in her interview with Gibson, Palin successfully dodged the issue of her religious beliefs by claiming that she had been merely echoing the words of Abraham Lincoln. The New York Times later dubbed her response "absurd." It was worse than absurd; it was a lie calculated to conceal the true character of her religious infatuations. Every detail that has emerged about Palin's life in Alaska suggests that she is as devout and literal-minded in her Christian dogmatism as any man or woman in the land. Given her long affiliation with the Assemblies of God church, Palin very likely believes that Biblical prophecy is an infallible guide to future events and that we are living in the "end times." Which is to say she very likely thinks that human history will soon unravel in a foreordained cataclysm of war and bad weather. Undoubtedly Palin believes that this will be a good thing—as all true Christians will be lifted bodily into the sky to make merry with Jesus, while all non-believers, Jews, Methodists and other rabble will be punished for eternity in a lake of fire. Like many Pentecostals, Palin may even imagine that she and her fellow parishioners enjoy the power of prophecy themselves. Otherwise, what could she have meant when declaring to her congregation that "God's going to tell you what is going on, and what is going to go on, and you guys are going to have that within you"?

You can learn something about a person by the company she keeps. In the churches where Palin has worshiped for decades, parishioners enjoy "baptism in the Holy Spirit," "miraculous healings" and "the gift of tongues." Invariably, they offer astonishingly irrational accounts of this behavior and of its significance for the entire cosmos. Palin's spiritual colleagues describe themselves as part of "the final generation," engaged in "spiritual warfare" to purge the earth of "demonic strongholds." Palin has spent her entire adult life immersed in this apocalyptic hysteria. Ask yourself: Is it a good idea to place the most powerful military on earth at her disposal? Do we actually want our leaders thinking about the fulfilment of Biblical prophecy when it comes time to say to the Iranians, or to the North Koreans, or to the Pakistanis, or to the Russians or to the Chinese: "All options remain on the table"?

It is easy to see what many people, women especially, admire about Sarah Palin. Here is a mother of five who can see the bright side of having a child with Down syndrome and still find the time and energy to govern the state of Alaska. But we cannot ignore the fact that Palin's impressive family further testifies to her dogmatic religious beliefs. Many writers have noted the many shades of conservative hypocrisy on view here: when Jamie Lynn Spears gets pregnant, it is considered a symptom of liberal decadence and the breakdown of family values; in the case of one of Palin's daughters, however, teen pregnancy gets reinterpreted as a sign of immaculate, small-town fecundity. And just imagine if, instead of the Palins, the Obama family had a pregnant, underage daughter on display at their convention, flanked by her black boyfriend who "intends" to marry her. Who among conservatives would have resisted the temptation to speak of "the dysfunction in the black community"?

Teen pregnancy is a misfortune, plain and simple. At best, it represents bad luck (both for the mother and for the child); at worst, as in the Palins' case, it is a symptom of religious dogmatism. Governor Palin opposes sex education in schools on religious grounds. She has also fought vigorously for a "parental consent law" in the state of Alaska, seeking full parental dominion over the reproductive decisions of minors. We know, therefore, that Palin believes that she should be the one to decide whether her daughter carries her baby to term. Based on her stated position, we know that she would deny her daughter an abortion even if she had been raped. One can be forgiven for doubting whether Bristol Palin had all the advantages of 21st-century family planning—or, indeed, of the 21st century.

We have endured eight years of an administration that seemed touched by religious ideology. Bush's claim to Bob Woodward that he consulted a "higher Father" before going to war in Iraq got many of us sitting upright, before our attention wandered again to less ethereal signs of his incompetence. For all my concern about Bush's religious beliefs, and about his merely average grasp of terrestrial reality, I have never once thought that he was an over-the-brink, Rapture-ready extremist. Palin seems as though she might be the real McCoy. With the McCain team leading her around like a pet pony between now and Election Day, she can be expected to conceal her religious extremism until it is too late to do anything about it. Her supporters know that while she cannot afford to "talk the talk" between now and Nov. 4, if elected, she can be trusted to "walk the walk" until the Day of Judgment.

What is so unnerving about the candidacy of Sarah Palin is the degree to which she represents—and her supporters celebrate—the joyful marriage of confidence and ignorance. Watching her deny to Gibson that she had ever harbored the slightest doubt about her readiness to take command of the world's only superpower, one got the feeling that Palin would gladly assume any responsibility on earth:

"Governor Palin, are you ready at this moment to perform surgery on this child's brain?"

"Of course, Charlie. I have several boys of my own, and I'm an avid hunter."

"But governor, this is neurosurgery, and you have no training as a surgeon of any kind."

"That's just the point, Charlie. The American people want change in how we make medical decisions in this country. And when faced with a challenge, you cannot blink."

The prospects of a Palin administration are far more frightening, in fact, than those of a Palin Institute for Pediatric Neurosurgery. Ask yourself: how has "elitism" become a bad word in American politics? There is simply no other walk of life in which extraordinary talent and rigorous training are denigrated. We want elite pilots to fly our planes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to represent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive years of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to vest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun any and all standards of excellence. When it comes to choosing the people whose thoughts and actions will decide the fates of millions, then we suddenly want someone just like us, someone fit to have a beer with, someone down-to-earth—in fact, almost anyone, provided that he or she doesn't seem too intelligent or well educated.

I believe that with the nomination of Sarah Palin for the vice presidency, the silliness of our politics has finally put our nation at risk. The world is growing more complex—and dangerous—with each passing hour, and our position within it growing more precarious. Should she become president, Palin seems capable of enacting policies so detached from the common interests of humanity, and from empirical reality, as to unite the entire world against us. When asked why she is qualified to shoulder more responsibility than any person has held in human history, Palin cites her refusal to hesitate. "You can't blink," she told Gibson repeatedly, as though this were a primordial truth of wise governance. Let us hope that a President Palin would blink, again and again, while more thoughtful people decide the fate of civilization. (end of article)

If you feel depressed after reading that, here's something to cheer you up:

Friday, September 19, 2008

Trees, Teresa and dangerous thoughts

I was going to write a letter this week to my local Member of Parliament, Teresa Kok, after I learnt that a local residents action group was lobbying to have all the street trees in our suburb cut down (apparently because some of them don’t like sweeping up the leaves). But then she was arrested at the weekend and detained under Malaysia’s infamous Internal Security Act (ISA) which enables the government to lock up people that they deem to be “a threat to the security of the nation” for up to two years without charges being laid and without them being brought to trial.

So what dastardly act was my local Member arrested for? Did she try to set fire to the headquarters of the ruling party like they did in Mongolia recently? Was she caught driving a truck bomb towards the PM’s office?

No – apparently she was accused of organising a petition to ask a local mosque to turn down the volume of the call to prayer in the morning. A day after she was arrested, officials from the mosque confirmed that she had nothing to do with the petition, but still she is in jail in solitary confinement.

According to her parents who were allowed to visit her a couple of days ago (she was brought to police headquarters blindfolded so she couldn’t tell them where she was being detained) she is being fed unhygienic food that is only fit for dogs, and she is suffering diarrhoea as a result.

Is this the way to treat elected Members of Parliament?

Oops, better watch what I say, another blogger was detained today under the ISA (that makes two this week, as well as a mainstream newspaper reporter). Apparently the blogger suggested people should fly the Malaysian flag upside down to protest about something or other – and that’s enough to be deemed to be “a threat to the security of the nation.”

I really can’t understand how Teresa Kok can be a threat to the security of the nation. She doesn’t look like a terrorist (she is a bespectacled slightly-built woman of Chinese descent in her mid-forties). She works hard for the community that she serves, has won her seat three times in a row, and her popularity is illustrated by the fact that at the last election she secured the largest majority of any Democratic Action Party member over a government candidate.

Uh, oh. Just had a thought. I wonder if that has something to do with it. No, better not speculate. I’ve just seen a police car drive by. Their ISA radar might be sensing that I’m thinking something that is not permitted. I’d better click save, close and publish before I get myself into trouble.

In the meantime there’s probably not much point writing my letter about the trees. I don’t think they deliver mail to the ISA jail.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Snakes on a Plane – for real!

I’ve never watched the 2006 movie Snakes on a Plane because snakes give me the creeps, but today Indian air travelers might have been worrying about a real life rerun of the movie plot when it was revealed that a snake had evaded capture on an Air India flight after it had arrived in Delhi from Srinagar.

According to news reports, the snake was found coiled up under a seat and the crew was unable to catch it as it slithered around the plane. It evaded capture by slipping into an air vent, and even after mechanics removed panels inside the fuselage, they could not find it.

An airport spokesman was quoted as saying: “There was a commotion which scared the snake and it went further inside.”

Apparently the snake was never found, and the aircraft was not grounded (“We don’t think it was a cobra”, an Air India spokesman said), so flying around Indian skies today is an Airbus A319 with a snake on board. I only hope it doesn’t find its way into the cockpit and bite the pilot.

In the meantime, I think I will avoid flying on Air India for a while.